The Support Systems That Keep Escorts Safe

Kennedy keeps a list on her phone of five people who know exactly what she does for a living and have explicit instructions about what to do if she doesn't check in. Her best friend, another escort she met three years ago. Her roommate, who took months to tell but finally needed to know the truth. A former client who became a genuine friend after years of appointments. A cousin she's close to who promised not to tell the rest of the family. And a professional security service that monitors her appointments for a monthly fee. "These five people are the reason I'm still alive," Kennedy told me when we met at a park in Brooklyn. "Without them, I would have disappeared by now."

The informal support network Kennedy has built is the first line of defense in a job where formal protections don't exist. Before every appointment, she texts her friend with the client's information, the location, and her expected finish time. If she doesn't check in within fifteen minutes of that time, her friend starts calling. If Kennedy doesn't answer within thirty minutes, her friend has instructions to call the police and provide all the information. "It's not a perfect system," Kennedy admitted. "But it means someone would notice if I vanished. That's more than a lot of escorts have."

Her roommate provides daily support that goes beyond safety logistics. She's the person Kennedy can actually talk to when she gets home from a difficult appointment, the one who sees her cry in the bathroom after a client crossed a boundary, the one who reminds her she's more than her work. "I couldn't do this without her," Kennedy said. "Living a double life is isolating. Having one person in your regular life who knows the truth makes all the difference. I don't have to perform at home. I can just be exhausted and human."

The support network of other Manhattan escorts operates on multiple levels. There's the immediate practical support, the sharing of information about dangerous clients and safe screening services. There's the emotional support of women who understand what this work costs because they're paying the same price. And there's the mentorship, experienced escorts teaching newer ones how to stay safe, how to set boundaries, how to protect their mental health. "We're raising each other," Kennedy explained. "Because nobody else is teaching us how to survive this."

Kennedy pays two hundred dollars a month to a security service run by former law enforcement officers. They maintain a 24/7 monitoring system where escorts check in before and after appointments. If an escort doesn't check in on time, they have protocols that escalate quickly. Kennedy has tested the system twice by deliberately missing a check-in, and both times they called within five minutes. "It's expensive," she said, "but it's the closest thing I have to actual professional security. They know what we do. They don't judge. They just keep us alive."

The financial support network is less formal but equally important. Kennedy is part of a small group of escorts who've agreed to help each other during emergencies. When one woman's apartment flooded and she lost everything, the group raised three thousand dollars within twenty-four hours. When another was hospitalized and couldn't work for six weeks, they covered her rent. "We can't rely on traditional safety nets," Kennedy said. "No unemployment benefits, no disability insurance, no workers comp. So we've created our own. It's not much, but it's something."

The mental health support is perhaps the hardest to find and maintain. Kennedy sees a therapist, but she can't be fully honest about her work because most therapists aren't equipped to support sex workers without judgment. She's part of an online support group specifically for cheap escorts, where they discuss the psychological toll of the work, but it's not the same as professional help. "There's this huge gap in mental health services for people like me," she explained. "I need therapy for the trauma this work causes, but I can't access good therapy without exposing what I do. It's a catch-22."

What strikes me about Kennedy's support system is how much work it requires to maintain. She has to actively nurture these relationships, be vulnerable with people, trust them with information that could destroy her life if they betrayed her. She has to invest time and emotional energy into supporting others so they'll support her. She has to pay for professional services that should be unnecessary in a job that was safer and legal. "It's a full-time job on top of my full-time job," she said.

But without these support systems, Kennedy knows she'd be entirely alone in a dangerous profession. She's heard stories of escorts who worked isolated, without safety protocols or people who knew where they were. Some of those stories end with women disappearing. "The support system is the only thing standing between me and becoming a statistic," Kennedy said quietly. "But the fact that I need this elaborate network of people and services just to survive my job shows how broken the system is. No one should have to work this hard just to not get murdered. But this is the reality for escorts in New York. We keep each other alive because nobody else will."